Guess what? I got eyelash extensions y’all!
After seeing countless friends walking around looking like majestic little baby deer with their long, beautiful, voluminous lashes, I decided it was time to jump on the bandwagon.
Although excited, I was extremely apprehensive for the following reasons:
I am very fair, basically albino, and with that comes the misfortune of being extremely sensitive. Weird break outs and mystery rashes could essentially be considered a hobby at this point. Seriously... I got scarlet fever last year. SCARLET FREAKING FEVER.
My history of superficial ailments has led to a pretty awesome case of hypochondria. What is a hypochondriac’s best friend? The almighty internet! I searched the web tirelessly to find out what kind of weird side effects or reactions may (aka most definitely would) happen to me and came to the conclusion I was probably just going to lose my eyeballs.
These minor issues were also in the back of my mind:
Being a side sleeper. Are the lashes going to shed quickly from one eye and not the other? (visions of A Clockwork Orange danced in my head)
Wearing contacts and the subsequent handling of my lashes while putting in/taking out my contacts. Apparently oil breaks down the lash adhesive and causes them to fall out quicker.
Wearing glasses most of the time… If I have to deal with my eyelashes hitting the lenses every time I blink I will definitely rip them out.
I am happy to report that, all in all, it was kind of a breeze! Kind of.
For starters, the esthetician that applied them for me was great. Her workspace was clean, nice, and very relaxing. She was extremely friendly and understanding about my body paranoia and zillion questions. She tells me to lay down on the table and cover up with a blanket if I wished. She then told me that I would probably fall asleep (???!! oh that’s right, you don’t know me at all) and began to apply the cool, sticky pads to my undereyes, making sure my lower lashes were folded underneath the pads and out of the way.
For those who have never had lash extensions before, I’m going to hit you with some truth right now. This is what you’re going to feel like at this point in the process and probably for the rest of it as well:
It is hands down one of the most uncomfortable feelings I have ever experienced. Then she says, come put your face 6 inches from my stranger face and don’t open your eyes for an hour and a half.
WHAT HAVE I DONE???????????????
The next 90 minutes are filled with trying to figure out exactly what is going on with your eyelashes without opening your eyes, attempting to decipher every move, feeling, and sound to understand exactly how she is attaching this business to your face, counting how many lashes she has done, wondering how much longer, and briefly remembering that you ate curry for lunch and hoping your breath doesn’t smell like a questionable apartment building. Then, right when you’re thinking she must be done because it feels like you’ve run out of lashes and she’s obviously just gluing lashes to the side of your nose now, she says, “15 MORE MINUTES!” in the cheeriest tone possible. Bitch is this a joke????
There were also a couple times during this that I could have sworn she rested her face on my face. I mean, it must have been her hand but it sure felt like a face. I would make a terrible blind person.
When I did open my eyes, I was astonished by what I saw. My lashes were full, beautiful and dark! For a person that has spent the better part of three decades with actual white eyelashes, this is basically the equivalent of seeing God.
Newest member of the majestic baby deer club right here!
My eyes were a little bloodshot for a couple days but I’m not sure if the contacts I wore that day were perhaps a little past their prime or if the lashes just took some getting used to. Either way they’re all good now.
Anyone care to share their lash experience/concerns/questions/horror stories?